September 26^th 2008

Thoughts

 

Clear Knowing

Balance

Core strength

Angel of Earth Create

Birthing is painful------

‘Blocking' of source ( keep awareness)

 

Relax

Allow knowing to arrive

Go with the flow

Trust process

Laugh

Celebrate

Hold ritual

Reconnect

Help others reconnect

Manifest structure

Teach process

Breathe.....

 

New Moon meditation in Libra

29.9.08

Created in group meditation..........Each bringing a portion.....

• 1. The ability to see beauty/harmony
• 2. The ability to create a harmonious environment
• 3. Unconditional Love
• 4. Abundance of radiating joy
• 5. Balanced, grounded male/female energy
• 6. Perfect skin
• 7. Attuned to inner voice
• 8. Alignment with Divine Will
• 9. Encouragement
• 10. Fun, playfulness

Sphere of Unity, balance, Harmony, inclusion, gentle energies, transformational essence, Harmonic, myriad colours of Radiance-

Core of knowing

Strength, centeredness

Dynamic-radiating out, creating connection

Family, community, peaceful Harmonizer

 

13^th HARMONIC AT CORE 

ALCHEMICAL VESSEL.........

New Paradigm

 

 

 

To be open and receptive to guidance of my helpers

To live from my highest self

To live and serve my purpose

To laugh more

Silver and white Candle lit.......Large conch shell on table to represent Water element also noted represented planet Venus.....

Wishes written to birth space....qualities....decree....space defined

 

30.9.08

22 Vibration Day

 

Light silver Gold and white candle

 

Centred......arcing blue crescent.....

Oscillating zero point energy....

Radiating out from core in waves centred....pulsating....solid core still but not static.....words inadequate to describe......image is of two interlocking spirals rotating clockwise and counter-clockwise flowing away to right and left......

 

 

Post script: as I moved out into the day.....the world people seemed very busy...moving fast...Interesting to note I lost my place in several lines as people did not notice me queuing...felt peaceful within being in rhythm...but out of sync with the world around.

 

Meditation

Higher self

1^st October 2008

 

Be still

Breathe....

Become present in the rhythm of the breathe.

Open heart

Focus on pink ray of light...allow it to suffuse the space

Go with the flow

Enjoy.....

Breathe deep

Expand awareness.......

Listen.......

"give up smoking you breathe too shallow....lots to heal and restructure in the cellular level of the lungs...."

"the heart flower is contracted..."

"take your time -allow understanding to arrive..."

"sit with the flow...create intention. This space is done and can be released when you choose to:-"

"ask why AM I resisting?"

"it will help to release blockage in emotional centre"

So much residual pain to transmute

"that's a linear thought...."

"As above

 

So below

Moment to moment

Follow the flow..."

So much 'garbage' of thought attached to space......

"with every breath and present moment transmutation occurs"

"Enjoy and Celebrate the Dance .......and know that this too shall come to pass....."

 

 I am still smoking........today's energies so sluggish ...emotional...painful...a jagging disharmony....I am RESISTING ! The release of the space....holding...retaining...not flowing.........Hard to be present today......feeling as if falling down into a sink hole....straining to be aware in centred point...I am in so much discomfort today within physical and emotional bodies......

 

Is this my story?...I write to a friend today that the emotional space of having my car vandalised and set alight as a random act of chaos 2wks ago.....has caught me up in the past 2 days...I laughingly joke  of the time lag when travelling in multidimensionality!!! Irony....2wks ago the events from my centred awareness...seemed full of archetypal symbolism....a happening of THIS DREAMTIME as I was so in tune with the cosmic dance....these last few days as I have left my centre and resisted the flow........The space feels like my story and I am weighed down and discomforted by it...it speaks to all my fears....my uncertainty, a reflection that my flow is out of rhythm with this dream surrounding me......As I write this understanding is arising......

I breathe too shallow........

I resist the healing.........as the pain arises to be transmuted...

I fear my power .......as I understand my creation...

I fear my power to change the creation.......

And I resist the love that blossoms from the heart of knowing that I will turn many times on the cycle as I journey.....

 

THIS IS MY STORY.........

 

My eyes alight upon the words from yesterday's meditation with my higher self....

 

"ENJOY and CELEBRATE the DANCE.......

And know that this too shall come to pass..."

 

AAAggghhhh...DOH!!!!

My grateful thanks to the Dragonfly that caught my attention today within the dream .......flying past on too bitter a cold day urging me to connect and remember the journey....and to my dear friend and travelling companion today Lisa....for whose radiance,  and arcane knowledge  I am deeply grateful.
I am graced by the golden globes of light that alight my path

 

4^th October 2008

Card pulled for today......

The space towards which I am heading...........

The space so illusive...found only in moments.....of illumination.....The mind is still fighting for its control...struggling to give up its authority and power.....unwilling to flow  without form and direction.............

Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic, that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -- and there is no experiment up to now that has found any center in the brain which corresponds to awareness. The whole work of meditation is to make you aware of all that is "mind" and disidentify yourself from it. That very separation is the greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that which makes you more joyous, fulfills you, gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty. But this is possible only if the master in you is awake. Right now the master is fast asleep. And the mind, the servant, is playing the role of master. And the servant is created by the outside world, it follows the outside world and its laws.
Once your awareness becomes a flame, it burns up the whole slavery that the mind has created. There is no blissfulness more precious than freedom, than being a master of your own destiny.

Osho From the False to the Truth Chapter 7

 

The space of the End of today....

Card pulled for tonight....

Through the inspiration of Osho's card this morning ...I connected more fully to the truth of my being. .I embraced the light and shadow within and expressed it....I did not as I had  many times before...hid from it, ,filtered it, or rewrote it to be more like I hoped it would look.....

 Today Osho, Deepak and the universe have provided me a profound understanding.....that today I have become authentic........ I am humbled by all those who reached out to meet me anyway....

You are out of jail, out of the cage; you can open your wings and the whole sky is yours. All the stars and the moon and the sun belong to you. You can disappear into the blueness of the beyond....Just drop clinging to this cage, move out of the cage and the whole sky is yours. Open your wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.

In the inner sky, in the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable, but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.

Osho Christianity, the Deadliest Poison and Zen... Chapter 6

MMMMM..........Interesting...today has flowed...had a rhythym of its own......upon reflection I too have flowed...been so present  I have no memories to relate......just a joyful,peacefullness and full heart.......









Mind can never be intelligent - only no-mind is intelligent. Only no-mind is original and radical. Only no-mind is revolutionary - revolution in action.

This mind gives you a sort of stupor. Burdened by the memories of the past, burdened by the projections of the future, you go on living - at the minimum. You don't live at the maximum. Your flame remains very dim.

Once you start dropping thoughts, the dust that you have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young. Your whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is.

Osho A Sudden Clash of Thunder Chapter 1

Again.....I pull this card alot....It has been the theme for 2 months now........The space permeates...the peaceful,stillness comes....and then I forget the quality...rushing to create forward momentum....the mind looking for its control and direction...purpose....I disconnect looking for meaning....losing trust....MMmmmmm....

Post script.........Today is my drumming session!!! Will I find the silenct space in the flow between beats?


The energy of the whole has taken possession of you. You are possessed, you are no more, the whole is.

This moment, as the silence penetrates in you, you can understand the significance of it, because it is the same silence that Gautam Buddha experienced. It is the same silence that Chuang Tzu or Bodhidharma or Nansen.... The taste of the silence is the same.

Time changes, the world goes on changing, but the experience of silence, the joy of it, remains the same. That is the only thing you can rely upon, the only thing that never dies. It is the only thing that you can call your very being.

Osho Zen: The Diamond Thunderbolt Chapter 1

  This is the card for reflection today...a card of the emotions...water suit.........A hard space to master for me....In moments a unity arises through flow...........Intellectually I get the space......My action through the personality and within my emotions...so much harder to navigate...Awareness comes and I am challenged to reside within the stillness...allowing for all to be experienced and let go of..............

This space very familiar......often I get stuck in 'Laziness' paralyzed by the mind avoiding the movement forward....residing within the edges of the emotions...not emmersing fully ...and allowing for the transmutation to occur............Falsely calling it not doing......failing to call it what it is waiting...still a form of directed doing.....and thus not flowing.....the energy a stuckness......that drains the vital flow.....

In existence there is nobody who is superior and nobody who is inferior. The blade of grass and the great star are absolutely equal.... But man wants to be higher than others, he wants to conquer nature, hence he has to fight continuously. All complexity arises out of this fight. The innocent person is one who has renounced fighting; who is no longer interested in being higher, who is no longer interested in performing, in proving that he is someone special; who has become like a rose flower or like a dewdrop on the lotus leaf; who has become part of this infinity; who has melted, merged and become one with the ocean and is just a wave; who has no idea of the "I". The disappearance of the ''I" is innocence.

Osho The White Lotus Chapter 6




 

When you are lazy, it is a negative taste: you simply feel that you have no energy, you simply feel dull; you simply feel sleepy, you simply feel dead. When you are in a state of non-doing then you are full of energy--it is a very positive taste. You have full energy, overflowing. You are radiant, bubbling, vibrating, You are not sleepy, you are perfectly aware. You are not dead--you are tremendously alive....There is a possibility the mind can deceive you: it can rationalize laziness as non-doing. It can say, "I have become a Zen master," or, "I believe in Tao"--but you are not deceiving anybody else. You will be deceiving only yourself. So be alert.

Osho A Sudden Clash of Thunder Chapter 8

A burning ground for me these last few days...alchemy at work within and without......complete collapse on the kitchen floor....wringing my hands,tears flowing and emmersed within the torrents of my fears...echoing the energy within and without.......I stand......goto the mobile to collect the text that just arrived...my son reminding of an errand to do....I am weary...worried.....hanging on by fingertips...my mind turning over and over...my eyes alight on the words that fell upon the page in answer to another in 2003.....I finally understand.....

 

The Connection............

 

I can sit in the centre and feel

The empty depths.........

I feel the warmth of the fire

The energy of the pain.....

And float up towards the radiant Light

 

I will stand with you in the Torrents...

And through the howling winds...

Whispering quietly....

The gentleness of the breeze

The warmth of the sun

And the mist surrounding us......

 

And you will feel as all falls away...

That we are not two but one

That I AM you

At the depths of your being....

The Light

Your Soul

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.......Release the mind...open the heart....fill with light ....enjoy the moment......Thankyou John....for your gentle reminder as you gave me a hug...as I sat to write this...only half with you....guessing at what you needed.....you gently place your hand upon my heart....a gentle nudge of energy to remind me to allow the flower to open ...to join you in the present....to recieve and to radiate back...... Creativity is the quality that you bring to the activity that you are doing. It is an attitude, an inner approach - how you look at things.... Not everybody can be a painter - and there is no need also. If everybody is a painter the world will be very ugly; it will be difficult to live! And not everybody can be a dancer, and there is no need. But everybody can be creative. Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative. All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is! Osho A Sudden Clash of Thunder Chapter 4

Ahhhh...Another gentle nudge....I have lots of answers to the other questions that come as I read this one..Like what makes us Divine?What makes us like the stars...Animals.....Planets...plants......Lots of similarities...common ground.....But now a space to reflect today for me....What makes me Human....The question I have no ready answer for..........

This is the card pulled for todays reflection......I sense the rhythm of the space...the infinite cycle...cosmic dance of consciousness and embrace the moments of awareness......a glimpse into the space in a moment of enlightenment....and then I sink back into the unconsiousness of this personality,life...and continue searching.....aha.......the balance of the space is BEING......The space provided as a gateway to awareness....of the rhythm of the cosmic dance and flow...our unity of essence... The child can become conscious only if in his past life he has meditated enough, has created enough meditative energy to fight with the darkness that death brings. One simply is lost in an oblivion and then suddenly finds a new womb and forgets completely about the old body. There is a discontinuity. This darkness, this unconsciousness creates the discontinuity. The East has been working hard to penetrate these barriers. And ten thousand years' work has not been in vain. Everybody can penetrate to the past life, or many past lives. But for that you have to go deeper into your meditation, for two reasons: unless you go deeper, you cannot find the door to another life; secondly, you have to be deeper in meditation because if you find the door of another life, a flood of events will come into the mind. It is hard enough even to carry one life.... Osho Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen Chapter 7 Commentary: The hands of existence form the shape of the female genitals, the opening of the cosmic mother. Revealed within are many images, faces from other times. While it might be entertaining to fantasize about famous past lives, it is just a distraction. The real point is to see and understand the karmic patterns of our lives, and their roots in an endless repetitive cycle that traps us in unconscious behavior. The two rainbow lizards on either side represent knowing and not-knowing. They are the guardians of the unconscious, making sure that we are prepared for a vision that might otherwise be shattering. A glimpse into the eternity of our existence is a gift, and understanding the function of karma in our lives is not something that can be grasped at will. This is a wake-up call; the events in your life are trying to show you a pattern as ancient as the journey of your own soul.

That I am not in a state of becoming........That I Am.....there in each and every moment...in each and every breath ...a perfect reflection of the essence ........

Wow..how synchronistic...today has flowed with a new sense of connection...purpose...no longer a searching for...just a flower awaiting to open fully...I am excited...serene and at one with the centre........ in perfect rhythm.......this space so expansive...vast and without limits.....Breathing deep...Smiling Big...... When you open up to the ultimate, immediately it pours into you. You are no longer an ordinary human being - you have transcended. Your insight has become the insight of the whole existence. Now you are no longer separate - you have found your roots. Otherwise, ordinarily, everybody is moving without roots, not knowing from where their heart goes on receiving energy, not knowing who goes on breathing in them, not knowing the life juice that is running inside them. It is not the body, it is not the mind - it is something transcendental to all duality, that is called bhagavat - the bhagavat in the ten directions .... Your inner being, when it opens, first experiences two directions: the height, the depth. And then slowly, slowly, as this becomes your established situation, you start looking around, spreading into all other eight directions. And once you have attained to the point where your height and your depth meet, then you can look around to the very circumference of the universe. Then your consciousness starts unfolding in all ten directions, but the road has been one. Osho Zen: The Diamond Thunderbolt Chapter 9 Commentary: The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wings to fly into the unbounded. The geometric shapes around the body of the figure show the many dimensions of life simultaneously available to him. The square represents the physical, the manifest, the known. The circle represents the unmanifest, the spirit, pure space. And the triangle symbolizes the threefold nature of the universe: manifest, unmanifest, and the human being who contains both. Now you are presented with an opportunity to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together, and when we come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life's colors to penetrate us, we become more integrated.

WOW..WOW....SYNCHRONICITY.......FLOW....This was the card picked to start today...following on from yesterdays space....New Vision....WOW....A 10.10.10. vibration day too......Within the realm of self this is definately the space...many old structures have fallen away during my time within the burning ground....structures that can be let go of..that have served their purpose to bring me and awareness to this point of union...completion....New Vision has visited too..a uniting of the dimensions...an expansion of unlimited awareness of all directions..a fullness of being....the zero space of pure unlimited potential...today I will recognise both the end of a cycle and the beginning of the new.....graced that I am aware of the process....breathing deep....joyfully dancing...smiling big! Peircing the veil......... This is the way of Zen, not to say things to their completion. This has to be understood; it is a very important methodology. Not to say everything means to give an opportunity to the listener to complete it. All answers are incomplete. ... It is not an answer to the question but something more than the answer. It is indicating the very reality.... The buddha nature is not something far away - your very consciousness is buddha nature. And your consciousness can witness these things which constitute the world. The world will end but the mirror will remain, mirroring nothing. Osho Joshu: The Lion's Roar Chapter 5 Commentary: Here, the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle is being put into its place, the position of the third eye, the place of inner perception. Even in the ever-changing flow of life there are moments in which we come to a point of completion. In these moments we are able to perceive the whole picture, the composite of all the small pieces that have occupied our attention for so long. In the finishing, we can either be in despair because we don't want the situation to come to an end, or we can be grateful and accepting of the fact that life is full of endings and new beginnings. Whatever has been absorbing your time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing it, you will be clearing the space for something new to begin. Use this interval to celebrate both - the end of the old and the coming of the new.

My times tables.....my birthdate.....my national insurance number....phone number.....friends phone numbers, birthdays....the Lords Prayer...the pledge of allegiance....declaration of human rights.....that the light within each persons eyes is the light within the depths of my darkness....they are one in the same....that this rhythm of energetic consiousness...awareness has graced our human lives with an illumination of connectedness,love,unity...Heart........these things I Know by Heart.........Breathing deep...Smiling Big....Joy.

The deepest practicalities of loving another.....unconditional love in its fullest sense, and the best ways of applying that unconditional love to all our structures, beliefs....you know what I mean? Like....the conversation I had with my son John yesterday....in science he learned that it takes '50 watts' of electricity to kill the human body...and he commented on how weak the body was.....we then went on to talk about why as humans beings we had decided to give that space to the answer of what to do if one takes the life of another.....We both in our depths thought it could not be an answer....but neither he nor other children like him had had A 'science ' lesson that discussed the strengths of the human body, mind and spirit....I think that is what I would like to see more people discussing.... I think the question could be ...Practically how do we apply the principles of unconditional love?

The resilience of the Human Spirit.....the humour ,light and beauty that shines forth from the depths......The creativity of the spirit.....The Unity of love...the broad spectrum of lifes radiating colours.....Rainbows....Children laughing....women dancing....men holding their young...autumn ...eclipses..sunrises..sunsets...birds on the wing...wind..clouds rain after a drought....Gaia.